I want you to think about the last time you were in church for a moment. Picture it like you had to tell someone who all was there. Now hold that picture.
How many MEN are there between the ages of 14 and 40?
How many of those are with their spouses, and don't appear to want to be there?
Welcome to the problem that ALL churches are facing today.
And the one this book addresses:
About the Author:
Disclosure: I received this book, from Thomas Nelson publishing, via their BookSneeze Program, free of charge, for blog review purposes. I received no other compensation, monetary or in kind, has been received or implied for this post.Nor was I told what to say about it!
How many MEN are there between the ages of 14 and 40?
How many of those are with their spouses, and don't appear to want to be there?
Welcome to the problem that ALL churches are facing today.
And the one this book addresses:
As a founding member of a new church, this is a problem we already have and will be having as we grow, and one that we know we need to address now, while out membership is 65/35 female to male. Our males? Older ones, who have different thoughts about church than their counterparts 40 years younger!
Even at our old church, we had the same issue. I never really thought about it until we were talking about how to get more men to church, and I came across this book for review.
The kernel of the problem, per the author, is that in general churches have become more 'female orientated'- decisions are made by committee after much discussion, there is coffee after church for fellowship (aka talking), the sermons are about love and forgiveness, and even the songs are upbeat and full of joy. Bet that sentence made you go "whoa", but think about it for a minute and you will realize it's pretty true. As the attendance at churches became predominantly female, all aspects of it did as well. How many 'women's groups/committees" does your church have? How many men's groups/committees? If your's is like most, that last number will be 1-2, a mere fraction of the women's!
Even "worship churches" are at fault- while their hi-tech may appeal (power point presentations and all) to men more, the excessive singing can be a turn off for males, as can the urge to pray TOGETHER, and/or pray/speak fronting the whole congregation. Being able to dress in a polo shirt and jeans, may not be enough to overcome their 'uncomfortableness' at the service. As the author says, men who are more in touch with their feminine/artistic side, will love these type worship services.
The question of why the decline in attendance has alot to do with boys being teenagers, and how the church no longer engages them at their level, to keep them. Once they've started the habit of not attending, it is easy to make excuses to not attend. They can easily rationalize reasons that the church is not aimed at them, and they are correct. When they find nothing to grasp, then they will not come. Period.
In some ways what the author suggests on changing is really just tweaking- adding more 'male' songs like "onward Christian Soldiers", having short sermons (under 20 minutes), skipping the bulletins during the service (men tend to dislocate from the service at this point), changing 'bible study' to a male preferred title that makes it sounds more fun, and even changing preteens' "sunday school" to "adventer class" or the like. If you have multiple services, making one of them "male-dominant", more casual (even to dress code) could be a suggestion.
The book is actually a rewrite, which tells you just how long this has been an issue that churches (no matter what their denomination) have had. I urge all pastors, lay ministers and vestry members to read this book. While you may not be able to totally change your church, if if you can find a way to keep the teens/20 year olds in church, it will be an accomplishment. There are quite a few things that are easy to implement, like kids and teens class changes, that can go a long way in keeping interest in the church. Churches that have been between the ages of 14 and 45 actively engaged, with spouses/families, or solo, tend to be successful. It goes without saying that children copy what they see and if Dad is not at church, they won't want to be either. If we want our children to share and be examples of Christian values, then we as a church congregation need to focus on having the whole family at church.
This book is a quick read and I finished it in less than 3 hours, even with making side notes. It is definitely one that all churches need to have and study!
About the Author:
Disclosure: I received this book, from Thomas Nelson publishing, via their BookSneeze Program, free of charge, for blog review purposes. I received no other compensation, monetary or in kind, has been received or implied for this post.Nor was I told what to say about it!
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