Book Review: She's Twelve Going on Twenty: Nurturing Your Daughter Through the Tween Years by Kim Camp

Disclosure / Disclaimer: I received this book, free of charge, from Thomas Nelson, via their Booksneeze Program, for review purposes on this blog. No other compensation, monetary or in kind, has been received or implied for this post. Nor was I told how to post about it  Ah the teenagers years....
Most moms would gladly pay for a all-included cruise through them from Disney, if they could! But that isn't reality.
This reissue will help you navigate those waters, especially with a new school year upon us!

Synopsis: As the mother of a young girl aged 9 to 16, you want a lot for your daughter. You want to see her soar in self-confidence and accomplishment, to navigate a safe course through the treacherous waters of school, culture, and hormones, and to grow closer to God while learning to rely on his Word. And through it all to maintain a warm, open mother-daughter relationship.

She's Twelve Going on Twenty offers a comprehensive, Christian approach to issues almost every mother and daughter will encounter:

• Identity and faith
• Music, movies, TV, and the Internet 
• Boys and falling in love, sex and purity
• School and grades
• Drugs and alcohol
• Clothes, fads, appearance, and body language
• Boundaries and personal safety

Easy-to-read and deeply personal, this invaluable book draws on a wealth of experience, careful research, and a deep grounding in the Bible and Christian faith. "Working It Out Together"at the end of each chapter provides communication starters and activities to help you and your daughter talk things out and plot a positive course together for the challenging but exciting adolescent years.


Review: I had seen this book, but had not had a chance to grab it, so when the opportunity arose to snag a copy, I was more than willing to read and review it! With the way things are in today's culture (shudder and say "Miley Cyrus"), you KNOW you need to read this book if you have young daughters. PERIOD. Things are NOT the same as when we were growing up- our culture and what is deemed 'acceptable' has changed drastically and as parents, we need to rethink how we help our preteens (and teens) navigate their world. If we help them to navigate the wilds of growing up in modern chaos, then they will be able to make the right decisions and choices when they are presented to them! We all want to let our kids learn independence and mature, but a firm guiding hand is frequently the best parenting tactic we can give them.

I am constantly surprised by how many parents feel they have to be their child's 'friend', forgoing discipline, teaching of right and wrong, and basically letting their kids get away with just about anything, because they don't want to 'be too hard on their kids', or want to 'give their kids freedom'. The problem is that kids need guidance and structure from which they can base decisions that they need to make upon. Much like knowing the stove is hot and not to touch or they will get burned, when they are toddlers.We have to give them the understanding of how morality, character and strength of convictions WILL influence all areas in the life, not just in the 'now' but in the future, when they are trying to get respectable jobs.Much like to college grad who posts near nude partying pictures on her Facebook page and then can't understand why she can't find a great job with her degree, our kids need to understand their actions have ripples and will affect them later.

Camp talks about setting ground rules and keeping to one's faith while doing so, and keeping lines of Communication open with your child. One of the key ingredients (which I've spoken with you before) is understanding that your child's personality is NOT yours! How they react and act, may be totally opposite from the way that you do! Understanding this is half the battle- it will help you approach your child in ways that they can deal with better, and that will allow them to understand that you will always LOVE them, but not love their actions, but like God, you will forgive them, when they make errors in judgement, but will expect them to make different decision the next time, the same situation occurs. I had to laugh when I read that section in the book, as I am always telling Miss Grace that I do love her and always will, but her actions were not acceptable (yes, we have pre-teen 'Drama' moments already- child was born a drama queen)!

Camp does a great job of breaking the book down into three different areas of concern: spirit, soul, and body, which include topics  like the internet, popular music, body image, keeping one's faith, establishing and identity, dealing with boys and sexual boundaries and peer pressure to sue drugs and alcohol. Each chapter takes on an area of concern and includes Camp's experience,as a mother to a teen girl,examples from teens and pre-teens, and applicable research info. Each chapter ends with a "Moms and Daughters: Working it out Together" area, which gives you conversation starters and activities for the chapter's topic, which for many parents will be the best part of the book! While Camp does use Christianity to help set the foundation for parenting, and helping your child through the tumult, the book is not 'overdone' with it, and there is a good mix of faith,commonsense and experience, to thoroughly present each topic to the reader.

If you have a young daughter, pick up this book, so you can be prepared, because no matter how great a relationship you have now with your daughter, things could change, and this book will help you navigate the course of teenagehood with your daughter!


About the Author: Kim Camp is the host and producer of the Lifersize video series for expectant and new mothers and the author of the book Fit to Be Mom. Long active in a number of charitable organizations, Kim maintains a special interest in the needs of preteen and teenaged girls. Currently she is on the board of Touchstone Youth Services, active in the Mother/Daughter Service Circle, and focused on raising her own teenagers, serving together with them in their community.