Thoughts on Marriage....

I follow the Project M Blog and it's a GREAT resource for marriage topics and I thought since one of today's giveaways deals with marriage gone BAD, I'd share some recent tips/thoughts from the site! 
  1. "I personally don’t think marriage is especially hard. Sure, marriage has its special difficulties – you have to agree on a lot more, like whether or not to have joint accounts and how religiously to raise your kids. But marriage also has special perks that also make it easier than other relationships, like romance and sexual intimacy. (Hint: sex is good for making you forget why you are mad at each other sometimes. That only works with a spouse)." Keep reading to #2, and all will make sense!
  2.   "Rather, I think living with people is hard. We’re all so insecure and competitive and opinionated and irritable. We’re a pain to live with, in all honesty. It’s hard to share space and resources with others, especially when they want to use them in ways that you disagree with." Now THAT is marriage in a nutshell, right????
  3. "In life, you have two options: put up with people’s crap or be lonely."This goes back to #2- living with people means living with them and their 'issues', for better or worse! Obviously serious issues like domestic violence or drug abuse means NO living with them, but that's not the norm.
  4.  "Forgiveness is something that you practice more for yourself than for your spouse. Holding onto hurt takes an outstanding amount of energy. It’s not worth it. Accept that your spouse is going to be a complete douche-bag sometimes, just like you are." Back to issues again, alot of things you just HAVE to let go of. That's the secret to 20 yr plus marriages- letting GO!
  5. "Let your spouse dream. Let him/her be unrealistic. You’re not necessarily doing your spouse any favours by jumping in and being the “realistic” one all the time. Your prudence might actually be preventing your spouse from becoming more fully him/herself."  Again, if it's going to cause harm to them/you/your children, then yes, you need to step in. But if they want to try to make the garage into a studio for their carpentry, it's ok to let them try... 
  6.  "Worry less about financial security than about your spouse deriving vitality and satisfaction from his/her work. Having a spouse who is fulfilled by his/her work might be more important to your shared happiness than a stable source of income." In theory yes I totally agree- we've been there and gotten that t-shirt- BUT the workforce and economy are unstable right now and to keep your family financially stable, it might not be the right time to quit and hope for a different job with no benefits....