Book Review and Giveaway: Parenting Through Puberty: Mood Swings, Acne, and Growing Pains by Dr Duanne Kowal-Connelly

Disclosure / Disclaimer: I received this book, and giveaway,free of charge, from DalyMMIller PR  for review, and giveaway, purposes on this blog. No other compensation, monetary or in kind, has been received or implied for this post. Nor was I told how to post about it.


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Not since baby’s first year has his or her body and brain changed,
 as rapidly as it does during puberty!

Puberty is a time when one foot is positioned for adulthood and the other is still stuck in childhood. Parents cannot expect their teens to figure out how to keep themselves healthy and well on their own. They need you, their parents, to help them.

— Dr. Suanne Kowal-Connelly



This new book hopes to the THE comprehensive roadmap for parents, to the newly emerging young adult in their family.

parenting thru puberty cover


Synopsis:

Dr. Kowal-Connelly lays out a step-by-step approach to understanding the physical, emotional, and social changes a child will experience during puberty. She offers medically-based, straightforward information, along with reassuring strategies, resources, and guidance to help every parent usher their child through this powerful metamorphosis.

Dr. Kowal-Connelly reassures parents that puberty is not to be feared, but to be celebrated. She offers specific guidance for parents to help ease the anxiety and discomfort of emerging adolescence.PARENTING THROUGH PUBERTY covers:

-The five stages of puberty – what’s normal, what’s not
- Overcoming “this can't be happening yet” syndrome
-Understanding the “puberty brain”: risk-taking, decision-making, boundary testing
Helping adolescents develop healthy trust, self-discipline, self-control and emotional resilience
- Recognizing the warning signs of eating disorders, self-harm, substance abuse, low self-esteem, bullying, social isolation and more
- Nutrition for the changing brain and nervous system

The last section of the book focuses on the importance of health and wellness for the adolescent. Parents often worry about their teen’s food choices, sleep habits or lack of physical activity. Adolescents understand and want to make all kinds of health and wellness adjustments, but they can’t do it in a vacuum. They need parents to help and to model healthy habits. PARENTING THROUGH PUBERTY: Mood Swings, Acne, and Growing Pains equips parents with the information they need to navigate the physical and emotional changes shaping their child.


Book Excerpt:

Moodiness

In the past, hormones were assumed to be the root cause of moodiness;however, we now believe moodiness is less about hormones and more the result of the imbalance between the frontal lobes and the limbic system.

This imbalance may also increase a teen’s response to stress. Excess stress during the teen years can alter the way in which the brain develops and create neurochemical imbalances that can influence depression. Feeling moody is a normal part of being a teenager. The following are some tips on how parents can handle this stage of adolescence:

1. Discuss the science with your teen. Knowledge is power and arming your teen with information about the science behind brain development will help you both in understanding what is happening. It may help you to develop a better sense of empathy. Chances are your teen will be fascinated by this and will try to proactively control his or her reaction to things that he or she is sensitive about.

2.Stress the value of a healthy lifestyle. Having a healthy lifestyle is the single most important thing that you and your family can do to promote good health, which also includes good mental health. You can help your teen understand his or her vulnerabilities and how having a healthy lifestyle can reduce and improve the ability to handle stress,lessen irritability, and improve moodiness. Encourage teens to consider the following topics:
oKeep healthy sleep habits.
oEat a healthy and balanced diet.
oHydrate properly.
oStay active.
oMaintain a balanced schedule for school responsibilities.
oEncourage activities that teach mindfulness such as yoga, positive self-talk, controlled breathing, and muscle relaxation methods.

3.Share your insights from this time in your life. A bit of humility can go a long way with your teen. When your teen gets moody, let him or her know that you had difficulties negotiating adolescence as well.Be relatable, be open, and be approachable.

4. Remember that mistakes are teachable moments. All parents want to save their child from making mistakes, but errors in judgement and errors in life are opportunities to learn and grow. When children are terrified of making a mistake and disappointing their parents, it can lead to stress and moodiness. If your adolescent knows that you are someone that he or she can turn to without fear of looking weak or being considered a failure, it will be invaluable. A knee-jerk reaction by you to some of the things your teenager may share will only serve to alienate him or her and create a much moodier kid.

5.Encourage your teenager to discuss fears and concerns. Brooding often occurs as a result of problems that an adolescent cannot solve alone. Let your teen tell you what those problems are and try to understand them from your teen’s point of view.

6. Be a good listener and a nonjudgmental advisor. Most people don’t like to be lectured to, and teens particularly can’t stand it. Hard as it might be, try to remain quiet and listen intently to your teen.When you truly listen, you may find that a lot more is shared.Your relationship will be stronger, and the moodiness will be less.

7. Ask permission to offer help, as opposed to telling your teen what to do. Often, it’s not what you say, but how you say it. Sometimes teens need to blow off steam and don’t always want or need you to say anything. However, if you always have something to say, your teen might become more moody or want to avoid you. Try asking permission of your teen before voicing your thoughts. If he or she says, “No,” as hard as it may be, just let it go for now.

8. Ask your teen about solutions. Sometimes teens don’t want to talk,because they want to solve a problem for themselves. They want you to listen, but not to advise. They want to discover and figure out what to do on their own. Try to guide your teenager to self-discovery and praise his or her ability to problem solve. It will be a great moment for you both.

9. Be ready to engage at any moment. This is definitely a hard one. The moment your teen wants to talk may not come at a time that is best for you. Be prepared to set aside what you may be doing so you can give your full attention to your teen. These talks can include the most heartfelt, crucial bits and pieces of what is important to your adolescent.He or she is looking for your guidance. You need to be available when he or she needs you to build that strong relationship and bond that will go a long way to helping your adolescent control his or her emotions.

You should discuss with your pediatrician any time your child seems to have a negative mood for longer than 2 weeks. At any time that you simply feel something just isn’t right about your teen, trust your gut and have a talk with your doctor. It is always better to be on the safe side of these behavioral health issues.




Review:

>Got a tween? About to be tween? YOU need this book! So much more than 'about your kid', this book will help YOU understand what is occurring and more importantly what IS coming, physically, that SO affects your child emotionally! This book allows parents to see if their child is on a normal timeline, or advanced, and what they need to be on the outlook for, to understand the behavior going on now!

I shared parts of the book with Miss Grace and her immediate comment was "OH, so that's why I'm so clumsy and why I've been hurting at night!" (when looking at patterns of growth and growing pains), followed by "Ok, so I'm normal, NOW I feel better!"  (emotional outbursts/hormone blasts). The book helped us both to realize where she was on the puberty scale, and to help her especially to understand she wasn't behind, but actually on course, and to understand how levels of activity will affect different aspects of it. For me, the big thing was the emotional yin yang. By understanding where the majority of physical changed happen (NOW), I have a better understanding of her emotional and mental process, which as a homeschool teacher means understanding why her educational exceleration slowed.

I can't recommend this book enough- if you had the "What to Expect with Your Baby" book, this is the welcome second book you MUST have to understanding your child! It's a quick read and one you'll turn to again and again, while your child gets through puberty!



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Giveaway: 


One BTHM reader will win their own copy of this great book!


About the Author:

Suanne Kowal-Connelly, MD, FAAP is a practicing pediatrician with more than 30 years’ experience and now serves as the Director of Pediatric Clinical Quality for the Long Island Federally Qualified Health Centers (LIFQHC) in Nassau County. Additionally, she works as the district physician in many of her local school districts and performs as a New York State trainer for child abuse and neglect. Finally, she is a sports enthusiast and an avid triathlete. The many different aspects and interests in her life have been instrumental in shaping the way that she envisions and delivers healthcare to families.
She is a contributor to HealthyChildren.org
, the official AAP website for parents. And is the ultra-proud mother of three grown sons.

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