I was fortunate to recently receive Parenting with Pets by Chris Hamer through the Product Review Place and Chris, herself!It was very fortunate timing to me, as I have a daughter who is BEGGING for a puppy for her birthday! I'm not quite sure where she got the idea that a puppy would be THE birthday present except that alot of friends and family have recently gotten new puppies and since her birthday is upcoming...well you know how the mind of a 2 yr old works.....
Chris coauthored, Parenting with Pets, the Magic of Raising Children with Animals (2007) and is a contributing author of Dog Tales for the Soul. She is a regular contributor for the nationally syndicated radio broadcast, Pet Tales and writes a bimonthly column on dog behavior for the Skagit Valley Herald.So she definitely know of what she speaks!
I found this book to be VERY informative and interesting. I would go as far to say - IF you are thinking of getting your child a pet, READ this book first. Not only will you have a good idea of WHAT type of pet is better suited to YOUR child, but you'll know the reason WHY your child should have a pet, including:
1. Companionship: Pets don’t discriminate and they don’t judge. At Purdue University Center for the Human-Animals Bond, Dr. Alan Beck found that nearly seventy percent of children confide in their pets. The children said that they knew their pets would not betray them or their secrets.
2) Responsibility: Children provide the pet with food, water, and clean housing and in the process, discover that they are needed and relied upon in a way they most likely have not experienced before. Assuming responsibility, at its deepest level means children learn to be responsible for themselves, for their actions and hopefully for the global community.
3) Non-verbal communication: Brenda Bryant, a University of California-Davis Applied Behavioral Science Professor found children with pets have increased verbal skills-becoming more attuned to nonverbal communication as a result of interactions with their pet (“reading” their pet’s body language). These children also demonstrated the ability to draw the correct conclusions about emotions from human faces more accurately than those from homes without a pet. AND another study showed that kids that get bullied are not good at reading non-verbal communication...So a pet could cut down on bullying!
4) Bridge to parent-child communication: Pets can offer parents teachable moments; they can be a conduit both for our children’s and for our emotions. A pet can serve as a safe outlet for family members to share emotions and feelings that might not otherwise be discussed. Their calming presence and their delightful antics help bridge the gap between two very different worlds, childhood and adulthood. Pets can also afford the opportunity for parents to teach about birth, grieving and death.
5) The value of life: Our preparation for and careful consideration of adding a new family member is the first step in parenting with a pet. This important beginning models responsibility to our child at its most basic level. When we control the buying impulse, we teach our children to stop and think before they act. It is important for parents to remember the difference between the purchases of inanimate objects, such as toys, and the commitment to another living creature. A pet should not be seen as disposable.
7) Commitment: Parents commonly equate children learning responsibility with the regular feeding and care of the family pet. Although reliability is important, it is not the only lesson to be learned. We are helping our children uphold the commitments they make to us, to their pet, and most important, to themselves. Thia directly corresponds to the children’s self-esteem and belief in themselves.
8) Patience and Tolerance: Children, who learn to care for an animal with kindness and patience, learn invaluable lessons in how to treat people as well. Pets don’t always do what a child wants. Although this creates frustration for the child, it opens an opportunity for parents to teach tolerance, respect, and patience.
9) Self-esteem: Simple caring tasks like cleaning a cage or water dish can help a child feel that they have achieved something. A job well done, especially if it is a bit of a challenge helps to build self-worth. Successfully training a pet will help a child to gain self-confidence. It also teaches patience, self-control, and delayed gratification.
10) Reduce Stress and Act as an Antidepressant: Animals have a profound effect on human physiology. They slow the heart rate, lower blood pressure, and temper emotions. During physical activity, the body stimulates the release of hormones that combat depression. Walking with a dog will take advantage of the pet’s natural calming effect in addition to the benefits of walking. One study found that a few minutes of cuddling a pet relieved more stress than talking with a parent or a friend. In addition, if a child is carrying out an unpleasant task such as a dreaded homework assignment, a pet’s presences was more effective in making the task palatable than having a human companion.
Yup, the book covers ALOT. I liked how she broke down the age groups and how they handle emotions and their psychological and intellectual challenges. It is interesting to think about this when selecting a pet. I used it while still reading the book! I was presented with a 1 1/2 day old puppy to look after for an hour and while everyone kept pressing me to take it home (ok, I gotta admit it was TEMPTING- cute little black body with 4 white feet, white nose, white belly and a perfect white Nike stripe on it's nape, no lie, and just TOO cute in general.....SIGH). I knew from reading the book that a) my about to be 3 yr old was NOT up to every 2 hour feedings, so it would be my job b) my child was gonna have a hard time understanding why puppy couldn't play yet and didn't have its eyes open, c) while helping to take care of the the puppy would be a wonderful caring experience for her, it was just too much work for her at her age. So while I hated to do it, I had to pass on the puppy (awfully hard after you've held it for an hour!). I grew up with dogs and cats (and hamsters and fish), so I understand all the benefits of having a pet, but the book helped to reinforce to me that this puppy was wrong dog at the right time, so to speak. Hamer uses real life scenarios to bring home her points, for those who may not have grown up with pets and it is a great addition to the book!
I can't recommend this book enough! If you know of someone looking at getting a pet for the kids- recommend they read this book- they'll be happy you did!
Check out Christine's web site for more info HERE
