PT stands for..........

Punishment Territory...
Promises Tempered...
Pain Train...
Pretty Tough...
Patience Tolerated....
Psychological Terrorism.....
Physical Torture...
and my favorite
Physical Terrorism

It amazes me how much the human body can put up with, but then be weigh=layed by the simplest thing.

In my case I had a very minor tear in my rotator cuff 7, almost 8 years, ago. Stupid really. I the non-jock in the family, was bowling on 2 leagues twice a week. I've got a heavy throw and hook, so I was using a 13lb ball (yes, most women are around the 10lb range- that was my pickup ball for 1-2 pins). I loved that ball- it was expensive, but I had won it in a monthly drawing from the bowling ball company on their website and it was my first big contest win. Anywho, in the middle of a game I went to pick it up and had to use 2 hands to get it down the lane. I knew I was in trouble. 4 throws later I admited defeat and went home in severe pain.

Two days later (after wonderful drugs that helped me get the the enclosed MRI, well that and singing 70s folk song Michael Row your Boat Ashore like 80 times-don't ask- I said they were good drugs). They determined it was a minor tear and wanted to hold off surgery and try PT for 6 weeks.

It seemd SO sensible at the time.

Then I got introduced to PT. I was still on those lovely pain pills, so all was ok. By the time I was off the pills, I was doing great, arm was responding and doc decided no surgery, just finish out PT and take it easy, and watch bowling for awhile (ok which is more boring, watching golf or bowling on TV? quick poll! LOL)......

Time flies, my arm bugs me if I overdo it so I know when to stop, and when to take some Aleve if I accidently over do it. but all is well .........

And then I read an interesting email with an excerpt from the Journal of Bone and Joint Surgery, to wit:

" We analyzed a set of patients with diagnosed rotator cuff disease and a known genealogy to describe the familial clustering of affected individuals. The observations of significant excess relatedness of patients and the significantly elevated risks to both close and distant relatives of patients strongly support a heritable predisposition to rotator cuff disease."

SEE I actually CAN blame it on my parents, and not just for teaching me to bowl in the first place! HA

And then.........
My lovely, sweet, adorable muchkin child decides that Mommy's arm is like that of a puppet or marionette, and can easily rotate 300 degrees in 7 seconds flat.

So back to the ortho. I go, only this time, different doc. I still haven't decided which was worse, telling the bowling injury or child injury story. Both docs, same look of disbelief. Such non-jock injuries. They deal with football, soccer, baseball injuries, and I come in with mine..........SIGH.........eventually they got it, but not without al ot of shaking of their heads. I mean really, it's not like I was just gonna yell out, "look, I am freakin cursed with clutzy inane injuries! None have required surgery, so I count myself lucky, but I can't explain 'em any better than you can, awright? so LET IT GO and just treat the injury, ok????"

This time we got to skip the MRi- ooo yippee- course now they have OPEN MRIs- how easy is that? Course I really wasn't looking forward to another 80 verses of Row your Boat Ashore either, so I guess thanks owed to doc on THAT one.....Then he decides a cortisonne shot in the shoulder is the ticket to get some of the inflammation down.

If you've never had this done let me give you an exercise to simulate it.

Have the strongest guy you know come over and PULL the muscles in your shoulder up OFF your shoulder, while squeezing them as hard as possible. Now have him HOLD that position while imagining running a bbq skewer through the same muscles. THEN have said body builder let go of the muscles and punch you where the skewer went in at. Oh and the numbing agent that gets put on beforehand- IT DON"T WORK..............

Now after that little S&M episode (gee, doc you FORGOT to ask if I was into S&M- answer: NOT), I can't breathe due to the pain and doc decides I get to go STRAIGHT to PT, and we'll discuss surgery later.......I then discover HOW much I love my automatic truck, as I can't MOVE my arm- it's NUMB (hey, numbing agent FINALLY working- yippee- wait that's bad, oh oh).

I'm thinking I'm happy as I really don't want surgery right now- I have a very active 2 year old at home. NOT a good time........but then..........

Somewhere in the far reaches of my brain a little pop up memo screen appeared- WAIT, we are NOT on anything else but Aleve- this is BAD BAD BAD.......but I ignored it- it was way back there and sorta fuzzy........then Suz de la living la vida loco reminds me to make sure I take drugs before I go to PT, as that was the only way she got through hers post-surgery......do I call the doc??? Noooooo I go to PT (dumb, dumb, dumb).............

I did remember to take 800 mgs ibuprofren, but knew I was in trouble after 15 minutes when my shoulder was screaming in pain and torture, and the PT guy is saying, wow is that inflammed. Really? I'm thinking my should is on FIRE and needs to be doused with a 18 gallon cooler of ice water....but then those 800 mgs seem NOT to be working.........SIGH....... then to add insult to injury-they tell me oh, these are just STRETCHING exercises. This is warm up? Egads- I am NOT gonna make it through this!

After about 30 minutes I start mentally making up names for PT.

Terrorism stays high on the list of repeat names.

By the end of the 3rd session I feel like I have been beat up every day and then like a glutton come back for more. The Aleve- oh its great- it kicks in about an HOUR after I get home. That works right? HA. The blue flexible ice bag has become my friend. My best, dear, sweet, lovely friend (x2- I wanta make sure I have a spare to swap em out!).AND we haven't gotten beyond stretching (AKA the torture rack)............

Week two and we get to start isometric (I SO hate them) exercises. Boring yet painful. Gee sorta like being out with an old boyfriend who bores you to tears........

Don;t get me wrong- the staff at the PT center are very nice and don't want to hurt you (so they say, I'm still reserving judgement on THAT one). But when your PT guy says rotator tears never really grow back thats a misnomer (and a douzy I'd say!) while your ortho is saying minor tears can sorta mend themselves and be ok, you REALLY start wondering.....Who's right???? And are you really just killing time at $22 per session (thanks medical plan for making me finish paying out deductible) ???? Would surgery be better option????????????

And really- who's freaking brilliant idea was it to put the wooden ironing board where I was gonna trip and slam my little toe into it, resulting in a minor break? So that now I hop on my left foot while trying to avoid too much weight on my right shoulder.......it's super duper hard when it's the 26 lb child....and wait, do I have stock in Johnson & Johnson? At the rate I'm going these days, I should be a 50% owner....(course maybe if one of the promo execs over at J&J reads this blog, we can get a couple of first aid kits for giveaways????? LOL)

So you see, this is why us non-jocks stay away from sports. It COSTS more than it's worth when you get injured (and you will)............ok, that and that we're just too dang clutzy to keep from getting hurt.............well that, and we hate PHYSICAL TERRORISM....................

and that is why my 2nd blog (take note) was so long in coming- I was in PAIN and PAIN does not equal eloquent, understandable or coherent prose my dear friends!

I promise to try to do better (hey, if I get 4 months off for surgery/recovery I promise to blog more than once a week!!!!!!!!!!!!!) so bear with me!

note: For those who do not know what constitutes Rotator Cuff Disease, the rotator cuff is a group of strong, ropelike fibers (tendons) and muscles in the shoulder. Rotator cuff disorders occur when tissues in the shoulder get irritated or damaged. Rotator cuff disorders include:

1. Inflammation of the tendons (tendinitis) or of a bursa (bursitis). In the shoulder, a bursa is a small, fluid-filled sac that serves as a cushion between the tendons and the bones. (check- got number one)

2. Impingement, in which a tendon is squeezed and rubs against bone. (check- PT says this is causing ALOT of my pain)

3. Calcium buildup in the tendons, which causes a painful condition called calcific tendinitis.

4. Partial or complete tears of the rotator cuff tendons. (ding ding ding, 3 out of 4- we HAVE a winner folks!)

Now don't you feel like you learned some cool medical knowledge to one-up your know it all friends with? Your welcome-glad to be of service!