Book Review: Princess Recovery by Jennifer Hartstein, PsyD.

Syopsis: Raising independent, confident girls today is not easy – but concerned parents can curb the outside world’s influence on their daughters. With expert child psychologist’s Dr. Hartstein’s unique program, parents can counteract society’s pressure without making their girls live in a bubble. “Princess Recovery” will help parents raise strong, sweet daughters when they: encourage them to pursue their passion with industry and intelligence; establish high but realistic expectations of themselves and their future; provide context for problematic influences – from the media to prissy peers; and, build a mutual trust that will withstand adolescent growing pains. With this plan, parents can bring balance, confidence, and self-sufficiency into their daughters’ lives without denying them a modern, vibrant childhood.

Hartstein identifies and outlines the messages being sent to girls (and boys) namely

That girls and boys are fundamentally different

That girls should be pretty

That more stuff makes you a better person

That girls will get rescued and don’t have to take care of themselves

That being hot is very, very important

harstein says,"We are living in a time when sexualized images of girls and woman are at al all-time high. Parents are not always aware of how to negotiate the messages, and it is impossible to avoid all things pink and frilly. This book provides guidance to help parents intervene early, and, hopefully, teach their girls that anything is possible and that they can be and do anything that they set their minds to do.”

Review: One one hand, I was interested in this book because there is so much early-sexualization aimed at girls nowadays, that I wanted to read the author's advice, and to see if te small things we are doing, will make a difference. On the other, I see nothing wrong if my daughter wants to play dress up and be a princess! What the book comes down to really, is COMMON SENSE.

By that I mean, 4 year olds should be playing with AGE APPROPRIATE toys, like baby dolls and stuffed toys. 8 year olds can have Bratz. Barbies were never meant for YOUNG children- think about their clothing for a minute. Most 4 year olds have a hard time getting their clothes on and off.Which is why baby dolls with easy to take off, large clothes, are aimed at their age level. Does a 4 year old need to be concerned with a doll that has a large bustline? No she doesn't. As the author suggests, we have made it a policy for no barbies for Kiddo. She understands that she gets to play with then when she is much older, and that when she gets one as a gift, she says thank you, and we put them up for her to have in a few years. It realy doesn't bother her, as she has her model horses, stuffed animals, and  her Fisher-Price farm/ark/castle sets that keep her occupied!

And yes, the author says, this extends to clothing as well. Recently shopped in the girls department for ages 4-8? You might be scared if you have. The looks are more appropriate for a 16 year old. Which is probably why such brands as Rare Editions, Youngland and RagsToo sell for so much even on Ebay- people are hunting for AGE APPROPRIATE clothing for their young daughters! I could go off on a decline of manners and how it's relating to clothing, but like the author says, it takes one person to say NO, to get others to say NO,and to get our kids back to being KIDS.

So for the most part, I agreed with everything in the book. I liked how at the end of each chapter, she gives you age appropriate activities or how to handle situations (like inappropriate gifts, different rules at different houses). My only objection was the author saying we should lead our kid's imagination play, like when they are playing princess, and have the girls be the rescuerer, etc.

Imagination play is just that. YOUR kid's imagination, not yours. if Kiddo asks me for input then yes, I'm ready to offer a suggestion, but normally, she's telling me what to act out/say, as it is HER story to pretend. And I really don't think it hurts most kids. For instance, Kiddo has no compunction that she can NOT do what the boys can. Her current fixation is deer hunting. Yeah I know- but we live in the South, so it's a given. She has every expectation that when she starts shooting (5th birthday, I held her off that long!), that she not only will be able to shoot as well as the boys in her class, but probably better. Did we lead her to this? No, we have just always told her she can do whatever she sets her mind to. So to her, she will excel.

Hence to me, Kiddo is really a Princess Tom Boy- she will put on her tutu and twirl around while playing trains and flying her foam airplanes! And I'm ok with that- she can have all the pink she wants! But this book is a worth while read and I suggest it as a valid resource for all mothers of young girls!




About the Author
Jennifer L. Hartstein, PsyD, child and adolescent psychologist, is a regular correspondent for The Early Show. She has also appeared on Fox News, The Today Show, and Headline News. Dr. Hartstein uses a variety of treatment approaches that promote strong self-awareness, distress tolerance, and acceptance. She lives in New York City.



Disclosure / Disclaimer: I was sent this book, free of charge, for review purposes, from FSB Associates. No other compensation, monetary or in kind, has been received or implied for this post. Nor was I told how to post about it.