No Housework Day! By Robin Steinweg

April 7, tomorrow, is International No Housework Day

I used to be queen of procrastination. I abdicated that throne.

Now you can call me Sisyphus.

That’s right—the mythological Greek who was forced to roll a boulder uphill all day, then watch it plunge back down at night—only to start again the next morning. And the next, and the next.

Anyone whose responsibilities include the daily round of family meals, dishes, laundry or floor-care could relate to Sisyphus. A recurring nightmare might go like this: a mountainous meatball lumbers down the stairs toward my kitchen, spraying a trail of spaghetti sauce, grated Parmesan and a few unruly noodles. It gains momentum. It lurches straight toward my freshly shined sink.

“Nooooooo!”

The meatball takes a deliberate turn. I hear its sneering tone as it threatens me, “I’ll roll over you. You’ll be flat as a sheet.” The meatball leans over me menacingly, looking strangely like my husband—

“Roll over, Honey. You’re dreaming. And you’ve got the flat sheet all to yourself.”

The average American woman scrubs her house for at least seventeen hours a week^*. That means if she lives to be eighty years old, she’ll have spent over eight years of her life cleaning house!

I’d like to slice a sliver out of that perennial pie. April 7 is International No Housework Day.

Put down your mop

>Hang the broom

Watch dust bunnies gather in every room

Don’t let your youth just fade away

Take time to celebrate No Housework Day

Put off till later what needs to be done

Cooking and housework aren’t much fun

Take the day off. Augment your sorrow—

Every mess, every job will be there tomorrow

Dishes will litter each horizontal space

Oatmeal will harden at an alarming pace

>Slog through the clutter? You’ll be confounded

As tasks pile up with interest compounded

Hm. That didn’t go quite like I thought it would.

It could be that the statistics of the average woman’s housecleaning would change in the wrong direction. I’ve heard that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. If I take a day off, how many extra hours—days—months—will it take me to catch up?

Maybe I’ll be queen of procrastination one more time—

—and put off celebrating No Housework Day!

^*According to a 2008 study by the University of Michigan.

About the Author:

Robin Steinweg finds life sweet in the middle of writing, teaching music students, caring for aging parents, adjusting to having adult children, and nudging life and home to a state of order. She, her husband and sons live near Madison, Wisconsin.