Book Review and Giveaway: Rude *itches Make Me Tired by Celia Rivenbark

Disclosure / Disclaimer: I received this book, free of charge, from St Martin's Press,  for review purposes on this blog. No other compensation, monetary or in kind, has been received or implied for this post. Nor was I told how to post about it


We reviewed Stop Dressing Your Six Year Old Like a Skank last year, and it was literally a 'hoot'! So I was quite happy to review this new book from Celia as well!

Synopsis: 

Celia Rivenbark - award-winning columnist, bestselling author & humorist extraordinaire – begins her new book with a question: “Do we really need another etiquette book?”  

In a world where Adele smacks gum at the Grammy Awards, M.I.A. insists upon shooting the bird to an unsuspecting Super Bowl audience, and one Real Housewife of New Jersey admonishes another to “show some f*ckin’ class!,” there’s no such thing as too many etiquette books.

This is not your mama’setiquette guide.  It’s a book for the real world, offering advice on modern-day quandaries with her trademark Southern snark and sass:

Funerals—Now is not the time for store-bought cakes and backless maxi-dresses from  .

Gym Etiquette—Or, “Pardon me, but is this your ass sweat?”

Grocery store manners—Do not amble along, blocking the aisles so you can gaze longingly at that Duncan Hines molten lava cake mix.  

When your teen is “acting ugly”--Embarrass the living shit out of them, and they will never, ever repeat the offending behavior. 

Check out an example: 

Question: I’m fighting with a mom, but our daughters are besties. This makes the drop-offs for playdates very awkward. What to do?

Who are you? One of those skanky “Teen Moms” from MTV? For starters, talk like a grown- up. Besties”? “Awk”? What the hell? Look, the kids didn’t get the memo that just because you’ve had a tiff with this mom, it should destroy their friendship. To put it in terms you can understand:  

Chillax, h8er. This will totes pass. Obvi.

Review:

This book is Celia at her best, and hilarious! Which means that you will be falling off your chair from laughing so hard, while pointing fingers to those in your circle that have 'violated' Celia's rules! She had me when she included her recipe for 'funeral ham', which is an inside joke in our family, as my great aunt used to keep 10 hams in the freezer for just such a purpose (ie, "grab something from the freezer for dinner! NO< don't grab a ham- those are for the funerals!"). I also had to laugh hilariously through all her comments about husbands and Southern women (I think I snorted the entire cup of coffee when I read about 'walking tacky', aka too much PDA while walking together, and how 'tacky' is the WORST thing to call a Southerner! 

If you are looking for a hilarious book to give to YOUR bestie, sister, or even your Mom, for Christmas this year, THIS is the hilarious book to get them!

About the Author:

CELIA RIVENBARK is the author of You Don't Sweat Much for a Fat Girl; Belle Weather; Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like A Skank; We're Just Like You, Only Prettier; Bless Your Heart, Tramp; and You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start In The Morning. She lives in Wilmington, North Carolina.

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