> Bless Their Hearts Mom: Book Review: DON’T LICK THE MINIVAN: AND OTHER THINGS I NEVER THOUGHT I’D SAY TO MY KIDS by Leanne Shirtliffe
Friday, December 4, 2015


Disclosure / Disclaimer: I received this book, free of charge,from Skyhorse Publishing, for review purposes on this blog. No other compensation, monetary or in kind, has been received or implied for this post. Nor was I told how to post about it

christmas reindeer scary

And now for a great book,
that is perfect for giving all year round!


As a woman used to traveling and living the high life in Bangkok, Leanne Shirtliffe recognized the constant fodder for humor while pregnant with twins in Asia's sin city. But in spite of deep-fried bug cuisine and nurses who cover newborn bassinets with plastic wrap, Shirtliffe manages to keep her babies alive for a year with help from a Coca-Cola deliveryman, several waitresses, and a bra factory. Then she and her husband return home to the isolation of North American suburbia.

In Don't Lick the Minivan, Shirtliffe captures the bizarre aspects of parenting in her edgy, honest voice. She explores the hazards of everyday life with children such as:

  • The birthday party where neighborhood kids took home skin rashes from the second-hand face paint she applied.
  • The time she discovered her twins carving their names into her minivan's paint with rocks.
  • The funeral she officiated for "Stripper Barbie."
  • The horror of glitter.
  • And much more!
A delayed encounter with postpartum depression helps Shirtliffe to realize that even if she can't teach her kids how to tie their shoelaces, she's a good enough mom. At least good enough to start saving for her twins' college, eh, therapy fund. And possibly her own. Crisply written, Don't Lick the Minivan will have parents laughing out loud and nodding in agreement. Shirtliffe's memoir might not replace a therapist, but it is a lot cheaper.


Where to start...

A. have a roll of paper towels handy as you'll be snorting whatever liquid you're drinking, a lot
b. have a bathroom handy, as you'll be laughing so hard, well, you know, you're gonna need one

This is a hysterical look at real life. Not the way we think people live it, but the way real parents, who are not prepared for twins of opposite natures, react to their bundles of joy. I haven't laughed so much at a real life memoir, since maybe one of Erma Bombeck's books. Leanne is just THAT hysterical. Trust me, you will never look at a toy train the same, and you'll be trying to figure out how much you can put yourself in a time out chair too! personally, I'm smacking my head for not having late night 'Stripper Barbie' funerals,,,LOL

If you have a friend who is pregnant, or has a newborn, she needs this book to be forewarned about how bad it can get! Have a friend with kids already, she'll appreciate the humor and real life nuances, that she can relate to! Do NOT miss this book!

About the Author: 

Leanne Shirtliffe is an award-winning humor blogger. She writes funny stuff for the Huffington Post and Nickelodeon's NickMom.com. When she's not stopping her twins from licking frozen flagpoles, she teaches English to teenagers who are slightly less hormonal than she is.Catch up with her and the family at Ironic Mom!


  1. That sounds like a great book and very similar to my life with my five kids! Thanks for sharing your review.

  2. I'm not pregnant, and have no small children (for that matter any children) at home, but I want to read this book. Especially since you compared it to the humor of Erma (The Legend) Bombeck whom I just love. Thank you for letting us know about this book!


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