Disclosure / Disclaimer: I received this book, free of charge,from Tarcher Press, for review purposes on this blog. No other compensation, monetary or in kind, has been received or implied for this post. Nor was I told how to post about it
I spoke about how we should be teaching character in yesterday's post, and today I have a book that is VERY timely, that addresses just that.
You may remember the author, from out previous review of her How to Have a Happy Kid book!
Synopsis:
In this Queen Bees and Wannabes for the elementary and middle school set, child and adolescent psychotherapist Katie Hurley shows parents of young girls how to nip mean girl behavior in the bud.
Once upon a time, mean girls primarily existed in high school, while elementary school-aged girls spent hours at play and enjoyed friendships without much drama. But in this fast-paced world in which young girls are exposed to negative behaviors on TV and social media from the moment they enter school, they are also becoming caught up in social hierarchies much earlier. No More Mean Girls is a guide for parents to help their young daughters navigate tricky territories such as friendship building, creating an authentic self, standing up for themselves and others, and expressing themselves in a healthy way.
Once upon a time, mean girls primarily existed in high school, while elementary school-aged girls spent hours at play and enjoyed friendships without much drama. But in this fast-paced world in which young girls are exposed to negative behaviors on TV and social media from the moment they enter school, they are also becoming caught up in social hierarchies much earlier. No More Mean Girls is a guide for parents to help their young daughters navigate tricky territories such as friendship building, creating an authentic self, standing up for themselves and others, and expressing themselves in a healthy way.
The need to be liked by others certainly isn't new, but this generation of girls is growing up in an age when the "like" button shows the world just how well-liked they are. When girls acknowledge that they possess positive traits that make them interesting, strong, and likeable, however, the focus shifts and their self-confidence soars; "likes" lose their importance. This book offers actionable steps to help parents empower young girls to be kind, confident leaders who work together and build each other up.
Review:
One of the reasons that helped our decision to homeschool Miss Grace, was the fact that she HAD been constantly bullied since PRESCHOOL by the same 10 girls, that were continually in her class. As it was a private school, the same kids were with them predominantly from pre-school thru graduation. And as the girls started leaving, the remaining girls got worse, not better. It was very hard for me to believe that 5 year olds could be as cutting and harsh as teenagers, yet they were. Why? Character. They saw their mothers doing it, so why not? Even though the girls were constantly being taught Christian character in school, the moment they were OUT of the building, it fled like the wind.
Call it what you want, but what has been VERY evident to me, while raising a girl, is that our popular culture does everything it can to demean and trivilaize girls who don't go with 'the flow'. The girls who don't act mean, who have different interests, who show compassion for others, who don't watch the same shows (that are SO seriously age inappropriate you wonder who is making them), whose parents MONITOR (oh that hated word) what they do, hear and see. So it only makes sense that young girls struggle to be true to themselves and their families, while trying to 'fit in'.
This book takes on what is happening and breaks it down into relational aggression in girls, and how parents can truly spot it, and what needs to be discussed with teachers, about it, Then she gives girls and parents steps to overcome it, to learn to be true to who THEY are. The book is aimed at parents of girls ages 3-13, but I'm sure many older teenagers will be able to relate to the stories in the book, and able to tell their parents exactly how the same thing happened in their own lives. This can be really helpful if there are younger sisters!
The goal of the book is to help parents raise strong, confident and compassionate girls. And it offers some really great ideas to help foster that in your girls. But until the popular culture changes, and the parents who don't listen to the ideas in the book, I'm afraid your daughter will still have to deal with the issues presented. But thanks to the book, maybe she'll be stronger, and know how to deal with it, in a more positive way.
Giveaway:
One BTHM reader will win this review copy of No More Mean Girls!
About the Author:
Katie Hurley, LCSW, is a child and adolescent psychotherapist, parenting expert, and writer. She is the founder of "Girls Can!" empowerment groups for girls between ages 5-11. Hurley is also the author of The Happy Kid Handbook, and her work can be found in The Washington Post, PBS Parents, and US News and World Report, among other places. She practices psychotherapy in the South Bay area of Los Angeles and earned her BA in psychology and women's studies from Boston College and her MSW from the University of Pennsylvania. She splits her time between Los Angeles, California and coastal Connecticut with her husband and two children.
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