Yes, Your Kid's Gonna Be Okay: Thanks to this New Book About Building Executive Function Skills by Michael Delman
Disclosure / Disclaimer: I received this book, free of charge, from PR Newswire and the author, for blog review purposes. No other compensation, monetary or in kind, has been received or implied for this post. Nor was I told how to post about it, all opinions are my own.
Whether in English or Science, hockey or debate team, chances are your mantra to your kids is: “Try your hardest.”
But should they really try their hardest at everything they do?
Absolutely not, says Massachusetts Distinguished Educator Michael Delman, author of the new book Your Kid’s Gonna Be Okay: Building the Executive Function Skills Your Child Needs in the Age of Attention .
The societal voices telling us that we should urge our kids to try their hardest are powerful, Delman explains. We worry about being judged for not helping our kids live up to their full potential, or for being ineffective parents, if we don’t give them that extra push. But those voices can be wrong -- and damaging.
Instead, Delman argues that our kids will be happier and far more successful if they try their hardest...selectively.
After all, kids are struggling today, more than ever, to make the best use of the most precious commodities they have: time and attention. If they give equal focus to everything instead of weighing competing values, they’ll be spread too thin to experience meaningful success.
If an assignment is worth more points, it merits greater effort than a low-point assignment. If it’s not graded or worth little, it’s not worth as much time unless your child is interested in the material. If the assignment gets your child pumped up, then it is worth the time.
So what specific steps can parents take to help their kids try hard selectively?
- Teach their children how to distinguish between what is urgent (timely) and what is important (weighty).
- Point out larger frameworks. For instance,when an assignment is worth more points, it merits greater effort than a low-point assignment
- Encourage them to follow what naturally motivates them -- to nurture those things that connect to their passions and talents.
- Teach their children how to distinguish between what is urgent (timely) and what is important (weighty).
- Point out larger frameworks. For instance,when an assignment is worth more points, it merits greater effort than a low-point assignment
- Encourage them to follow what naturally motivates them -- to nurture those things that connect to their passions and talents.
Review:
If you are the parents of a child with ADHD, or other learning differences, you NEED this book! PERIOD! Kids with these differences, really ARE different in how they react to stimuli, and because of that, parents really need to understand the critical skills our kids need, not only for effective self-management, but to stay motivated, accountable, and independent.
I was really surprised at how the included specific strategies and tools are SO simple and easy to use. Miss Grace and I both have already seen an amazing difference by using the strategy of HALT, when tempers flare. Now instead of her escalating into a temper, that she can't control. I say "HALT", and she STOPS and THINKS about what is making her so mad. Is it Hunger, Anxiety/Stress, Lonely (Feeling Alone) or Tiredness? EVERY time, she's now been able to pinpoint it, and once she says it, then we can move on solving THAT issue first, and then MIRACULOUSLY whatever she was asked to do, or had to do, gets DONE! No screaming, no arguments, just a normal kid reaction. JUST this ONE change has been SO SO SO huge! What I thought was more a roller coaster of hormones, was really other issues, that she couldn't see her way over! Course, the hormones haven't been helping her to think clearly either!
Once I realized that that strategy worked, we tried a couple of others, and I was SO surprised, that they ALL worked. Miss Grace was EAGER to try them, and I was thrilled to see her motivation come back, as we started our new school year this past week! In fact, the stories included made the concepts easy for both of us to implement, to help her work on her Executive Function skills, and start changing her habits! This small book, that I finished in one sitting has made SUCH an impact, that I have to say anyone with a child who needs help with their executive function skills absolutely MUST READ this book!
It's literally a life saver!
I was really surprised at how the included specific strategies and tools are SO simple and easy to use. Miss Grace and I both have already seen an amazing difference by using the strategy of HALT, when tempers flare. Now instead of her escalating into a temper, that she can't control. I say "HALT", and she STOPS and THINKS about what is making her so mad. Is it Hunger, Anxiety/Stress, Lonely (Feeling Alone) or Tiredness? EVERY time, she's now been able to pinpoint it, and once she says it, then we can move on solving THAT issue first, and then MIRACULOUSLY whatever she was asked to do, or had to do, gets DONE! No screaming, no arguments, just a normal kid reaction. JUST this ONE change has been SO SO SO huge! What I thought was more a roller coaster of hormones, was really other issues, that she couldn't see her way over! Course, the hormones haven't been helping her to think clearly either!
Once I realized that that strategy worked, we tried a couple of others, and I was SO surprised, that they ALL worked. Miss Grace was EAGER to try them, and I was thrilled to see her motivation come back, as we started our new school year this past week! In fact, the stories included made the concepts easy for both of us to implement, to help her work on her Executive Function skills, and start changing her habits! This small book, that I finished in one sitting has made SUCH an impact, that I have to say anyone with a child who needs help with their executive function skills absolutely MUST READ this book!
It's literally a life saver!
About the Author:
Massachusetts Distinguished Educator Michael Delman is founder and CEO of Beyond BookSmart, the first organization to apply Dr. James Prochaska’s Transtheoretical Model of Change to help students improve academic performance. He is the author of Your Kid’s Gonna Be Okay (2018), distilling years of wisdom on the executive function skills children need in the age of attention. As an educator since 1991, Michael’s primary mission is to make learning relevant and to help young people find capacities in themselves that they don’t know they have. Co-founder of the McAuliffe Regional Charter Public School in Framingham, Massachusetts, Michael is an avid researcher and developer of tools and strategies to help students become more effective. He holds a B.A. in Public Policy from Brown University, and an M. Ed. in Middle School Education from Lesley University.
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