Guest Post: Let's Talk About Tea by Curtis Honeycutt, Author of Good Grammar is the Life of the Party: Tips for a Wildly Successful Life
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Let’s talk about tea
iRead Blog Tour Author Guest Post: Curtis Honeycutt, Author of Good Grammar is the Life of
the Party: Tips for a Wildly Successful Life
for Bless Their Hearts Mom
It may be my British roots, but I’ve never preferred coffee. I like hanging out in coffee shops. I
don’t mind smelling like I’ve hung out in a coffee shop all day. But, for me, I like tea.
Every morning I need my Barry’s Irish Breakfast Tea with a dash of milk and sugar. Without this,
I will be a Grumpy Gus or a full-on Fussy Francis. Don’t give me Lipton or Twining’s—these are
not the same. In case you were wondering: yes, I do bring Barry’s Irish Breakfast Tea with me
when I go out of town.
While I like a good morning cuppa, I’ve never understood kombucha tea. What is kombucha,
anyway? I know you were already thinking about it. Kombucha sounds like either someone
sneezing or the thing someone says after someone sneezes. Kombucha is like the kale of
liquids. Does anyone really enjoy it? If you take a swig of this fermented swill you’ll get a
mouthful of vinegary, yeasty tea fungus. Sign me up.
I guess I don’t like my teas fermented in the same way I don’t like my sentences fragmented. Or
do I? The grammar gods strongly advise against writing sentences in fragments. “Sentence
fragments” is industry-speak for “incomplete sentences.” A complete sentence includes a verb,
makes sense on its own, and communicates a complete idea. After all, writing is all about
communication.
Here’s an example of a sentence fragment:
Because he lives near the ocean.
If the sentence read, “He lives near the ocean,” we’d be in good shape. However, adding
“Because” to the beginning makes this fragment a dependent clause. We need the “why”
to follow the “because.” Let’s finish that sentence:
Because he lives near the ocean, he collects shells that look like Abraham Lincoln.
That’s completely strange; it’s also a complete sentence.
Using complete sentences shows that you have a grasp on proper writing rules. Poet Robert
Graves said, “Every English poet should master the rules of grammar before he attempts to
bend or break them.” I agree with this sentiment. Once we comprehend the “proper” way to
write, we can break the rules if it helps us better or more accurately express our ideas.
We speak in fragments. Constantly. We use them either to express a casual style, to create
rhythm in our writing or to emphasize a point. I agree with Bobby Graves, though: you’ve got to
know the rules before you break them. Seriously.
While grammar purists will probably beg to differ, I will throw them this bone: avoid using
sentence fragments in formal writing. If you’re writing your doctoral dissertation, stay away from
sentence fragments. However, when you are writing in a conversational, informal forum, feel
free to play with the rules.
Just as some people like their tea slightly fermented, some people like their sentences lightly
fragmented. It adds an interesting flavor to an otherwise conventional cup of language libation.
While I don’t prefer kombucha, I don’t have a problem with those who fancy effervescent fungus
tea.
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